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A Deeper Dark Night of the Spirit:

Notes on the Evolution of Ego and

the Spiritual Marriage to God

When Spirit is entering more deeply into our being, the iron grip of our separate selves, though shattered, hangs on and fights to regain control. The disorientation, confusion, sense of not knowing what is happening to us, or why, as taxing as it is, is a necessary ingredient in ‘going down’ where “I” am not in charge anymore.

Our concepts have formed another veil over the aching heart. Tentatively, but with growing trust, we let this sadness speak its truth. In this way, secretly, the darkness is busy awakening the wisdom heart, building a renewed, living faith, as well as a deepened acknowledgment of our dependence on grace.
~ Sandra Lee Dennis

The Micro Picture

Psychology's term "ego" is the self. It's the "I" in St. Paul's statement, "It's no longer I, but Christ," which he used to describe the process of being broken as a result of following Jesus through a cross and becoming a higher human being who operates differently. The self is born thinking it's right and other selves are wrong. This unevolved condition is what causes wars between one group of selves who think their belief system is right, or that their survival is more important, against another group of selves who think what they believe is right or they are more important. In a global dark night of the soul, this will end because in a darker night of the soul, the negative things that run through our minds that destroy relationships, and cause everyone unhappiness, are made very clear to us, so painfully clear that we don't want to be that way anymore. A dark night of the soul has a ghost of Christmas past visiting us and showing us to ourselves and we don't like what we see and we change just as Scrooge did.

The death on the cross or ‘death of ego’ is the evolution of ego not the merging of selves into one self. It is transforming from a self that has negative about other selves to processing positive words and becoming understanding and loving towards others. The change in the words that come into the broken and humbled ego results in good relationships because "there is no more condemnation" and no more competition.

It takes a thousand spiritual deaths and resurrections as part of one large process of evolving you at the end of which the ghost is gone and you rise up a person who's mind is quiet, no longer setting itself apart by judging other selves.

“There’s a place between Earth and Mars that scientists call the Goldilocks zone. It’s a place that’s not too hot, not too cold, but just right – a place where life could conceivably be supported. Many of us live from the motivation to keep ourselves in such a zone. We spend our lives constructing a personal Goldilocks zone where our solid sense of self feels comfortable and protected. Everything’s just how we like it, and we work to keep it that way.”
~ Sakyong Mipham

'Know Thy-Self!'

Seeing the Unevolved Ego

As the ghost of Christmas past lifts up the hood and you look at your thoughts and behavior, you will see that baby ego is running a self preservation program that is ugly. It's about self-esteem, self-importance, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-image or reputation.

— Unevolved ego is self-centered. People in pain become self-centered. The painful night will reveal self-centeredness by intensifying its need to survive emotionally by putting itself first, being needy and needing to be taken care of as if no one else mattered. All you want to talk about is yourself and what is going on in your life. The narcissist is a complex self-centered ego. They are a person who has been so violated that they are missing a proper sense of personal boundaries and they function without empathy for the pain they are causing others. They are somehow entitled to use others and know no other way to survive. They are unaware of their pain that is causing them to feel that they have the right to manipulate others like pieces of a chess game and get out of them what they need which will in turn cause them to malfunction in relationships in the same way.

Money makes us feel secure because it makes us look good in the eyes of those who place value on people who have money, puffing up ego pride. Money also buys the next thing we need in order to be happy temporarily. The words coming into unevolved ego attached to money make us acts like Scrooge, play the dog eat dog game, and become very sensitive to all things concerning our money, always worrying about it no matter how much we have. At some point buying stuff stops being able to feed our ego. We act like a spoiled ego and nothing is ever enough. In a dark night we are detached and buying stuff barely feeds us anything.

Unevolved ego places a value on success and wealth and being cultured and talented or educated and influential. As it puts its house in order in a dark night, evolved ego learns that completing the evolutionary process, knowing the truth about everything, being a spiritual guide for others is an entirely different way of seeing the value of someone. Their value to themselves and others is based on how far they are in the process which eventually results in an extraordinary life. In the end what is valuable is a mind at peace and a heart that is happy all the time and living life powerfully doing what is needed to evolve everyone and make heaven on earth. The Bible says "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you." Finishing growing is an organic connection to God and when this is made a human being becomes all that they can be. This means relationships become all they can be. It means life becomes all it can be.

The evolved ego moves past the intensified struggle to physically and emotionally survive. They are becoming kind and attentive to others needs, able to balance theirs as well. Evolved ego knows that living life right is not something they can orchestrate and put their mind's effort into. The effort is in the emotional struggle to get through the process of the dark night — life as a school, surviving the pain, and reaching for the teachings and being able to see them — not in how life is going and how they live it. That is happening on its own. The evolved ego knows it is not in control of itself or its environment. It knows that human beings are not living life the way they think they are. It is an illusion to feel responsible to learn and do it right as a result of something not being done right or something going wrong. The pain of having been moved like a puppet to cause a mistake to be made, or being in a negative situation with its matching emotions in you is the key to change. All the negative things are causing the pain of growing or transforming into a person who lives life right. In the dark night they see clearly what is not a good thing, and see the connection to God that they are making that will cause them to live a life that is only good. They know that as they see — not as they organize and plan — they spontaneously operate that way, balancing all things.

— Unevolved ego is insecure because of the emotional damage and shortcomings. It needs to do something to feel better so it finds some way to tear others down. You experience words coming in that makes others look bad making you feel superior. For those who are very damaged, they have a harder time seeing that they are misperceiving things and making things up and creating things to bring others down. Their pride, how they are perceived, is making them secure. They and their children have to be the best. They need the attention but underneath this need is a call for help to heal what is wrong that's making them neurotic. Their children are becoming neurotic and begin to act out for attention by being raised by someone who is neurotic and constantly yelling at the child for their acting up for attention, which is a child's version of calling out for help, help for healing because of what the parent is doing to them. The needy parent who is calling out for attention and help becomes competitive super people who kill themselves to look good in the eyes of others, desperate to feel okay. Healing the ego means stopping this cycle of living being passed down to the next generations, like the narcissists and codependent pattern, and spending years unearthing the negative things and looking at each of them with an evolved mind. The heart heals when the mind sees what happened to them. Truth about everything sets the soul free of pain.

The unearthing is the dark night process. Ego evolves out of neurotic and aberrated behavior when confronted by its condition in a dark night. When you see this happening to you, don’t beat yourself up or try to excuse things away. Get out of the box and watch the process at work. Look and learn and write about the process. Analyze the thoughts coming in. Figure out everything about how the evolutionary process works to fix you. Unevolved ego lets the negative words in and they become its perception of reality that is not according to the truth that you are seeing clearer. Compare the old thinking with the new. Recognize the new showing you the condition that you are leaving behind along with those kinds of words. At you are tested in this remarkable school, look at the situation you just judged and say what’s happening and pull in the right words according to the truth you are being taught through this exercise. The more it happens and makes you feel bad, the more you are experiencing the pain of your evolution that will get past the words and they won’t come in anymore. Lesson over. Evolved ego has been incrementally purged in the dark night of wrong ways of living life, wrong concepts and untruth. Seeing the truth sets them free and leads to a healthy and good life.

— Unevolved ego thinks it’s always right. We all think we're right at each moment of our growth no matter how many times we were shown to be wrong. The ego self is always misperceiving, judging and misjudging and its truth is deformed all the way until the end of the path in order to keep pulling the rug out from under it and humbling it and forcing it to be even more open. The path is removing what it wires and rewires in its mind again and again until the words of the truth of reality are right and ego is evolved past sitting on its throne. You may act better on the outside but there’s no kidding yourself that you are not walking the planet as God would if there are any condemning thoughts in your mind where you sense you are looking down on someone. You’re not right. The lessons are not over. You’re not caring about others. Ego is still going through the process of puffing itself up and being knocked down, because it has not finished evolving. You have no control over these words coming into your mind. All you can do is observe what is happening, learn and wait for the negative words to stop doing what they are doing so you leave the mystical negative state.

— Unevolved ego suppresses and invalidates others. This is another way of seeing the previous listing. Unevolved ego gets angry and puts cold water on, or in some way puts down others who excel above them physically, intellectually or spiritually unless that other person is famous for what they’ve done and there’s no way to invalidate them.

— Unevolved ego puts the worst interpretation on life, talks negatively, thrives on drama and gossip and all misperceiving, judging and misjudging of others, and rubbernecks on the road to get a view of others’ misfortune. It hungers for bad news in the paper and on TV. It’s looking for dirt and bad things going like the cells of the physical body crave sugar. Ego runs a chronic program, a continuing effort to build up its self-esteem due to feeling responsible for the things it’s ‘done wrong’ that it hides in a closet, or the other looked down upon things of its life that would cause it humiliation.

— Unevolved ego gets defensive. If you feel your bristles come up on your back and snap back at something that has been said, defending yourself, ego is still unevolved and in the way of God being able to use us to help people. The evolved ego that knows it died and now walks as God would if God were living its life does not need to win. It has risen above it. It has arrived at the end of the race. On the other hand there is righteous responses to negative words and incorrect words that get addressed as God would address them. Guru's play this role in people's lives. As you get closer to the end of the process, you take on this role and find yourself doing it before you are aware of what you are doing. The extent that a guru's ego is dead, to that extent they help other's egos to evolve. To the extent that a guru's ego is still unevolved, they will also make 'mistakes' and hurt their students. As you grow, out of your mouth will come words like God's that evolve others. You must be complete to be only speaking words like His words and not of your imperfect, self centered, baby ego making. This is because when you graduate, you are processing only truth and your beliefs are His and the application of teachings will be perfect at the perfect time. This defense with its bristles will be His wise defense navigating the situation accurately, not an unevolved egoic issue of separate self-righteousness.

— Unevolved ego believes the scenarios of the future coming into their mind are real. They live another life in their mind that feels like it can really happen. Nothing happens that we think of or play out in our mind. It’s always a surprise. That is how we are constantly being reminded of the lesson that we are not separately creating our own life or doing anything on our own. We go down all the wrong roads in our mind and end up going a different way in our outside life. It happens with both the big and small things and the deeper the work, the more you see the you are a puppet all the time in every detail of your movement. All the wrongs roads are leading to walking right in every big and small way. The incorrect words coming into us organically change us into a human that will only process correct words. The work is so detailed and done with such refinement you can't help but be in awe of the cleverness and sophistication of the design of God's being to upgrade and reprogram your being to process only positive words. The clearer you see it, the more it is happening to you so you can see it more clearly and get used to the new level that you are moving into.

—Unevolved has had a lifetime of getting set in its own ways. The more independent you have been, the more set you are and having your routine disturbed is painful. You create unnecessary stress for yourself and those around you. As you age, you retire and life shouldn't be stressful so it's pretty silly what we do to ourselves. Self-important ego will in effect make your routine a matter of the needs of God, more important than anyone else wants or needs. Evolved ego can see the difference between needs and wants. It is flexible. Its needs/wants that got built into the wall making things having to go a certain way are easily adjusted. Evolved ego can navigate life with others helping everyone see through the stress they are causing.

— Unevolved ego is so strong in protecting your God-behavior-in-progress condition, it has to be broken supernaturally by God's being, and can’t be done by any man's choice and effort. In order to see the unevolved ego very clearly, a dark night intensifies everything In addition to normal issues being intensified, ridiculous words come in intensifying perceived issues other people don’t have, and supposed bad things they aren’t doing, mixed with the abberated behavior they do have and bad or unevolved ego things they are doing. They will mirror what’s wrong with you so you can see yourself. You get emotionally caught up in them and they will bug you to the point of making you react in a way you do not want to so you are broken and get upset with how you are acting. But as you get closer to the shift to the behavior of an evolved ego you will react as God would and help them get past their stuff. Either way you have no control. All you can do is suffer through the evolutionary pain and learn all the lessons or in the case of doing it right, you will be grateful. It’s up and down, all mixed up and miserable until there are no more steps back and you find that you are acting as God. This takes place when the work in you and the other person by the clash is complete. The other person may have no concept of a dark night and still they will evolve as a result of your awareness.

— Unevolved ego is proud of itself, as if self was independently able to do something good like being thoughtful. I was at the grocery store today and the parking garage is under the store. As the door was closing I caught a glimpse of someone who had just walked up and I quickly hit the open door button to let them on. I recognized this as how it’s supposed to be, what I’m becoming. Then something else similar happened and I experienced pride. These are the two different responses, one the language of the evolved and the other the unevolved ego. As you observe the little things, like effortlessly being courteous on the road, and not just thinking of yourself and where you need to go, 'outside of the box' observing yourself words will come into your mind. Either you will be happy seeing how it’s going to work all the time once you are fully evolved, or unevolved words will come in telling you how great you are and puffing you all up. Nothing is different on the outside but on the inside ego is seeing itself as responsible and worthy of praise for doing something the right way, or you see a glimpse of the fully evolved ego doing it all right.

Unevolved ego is proud of its educational accomplishments, career accomplishments, religious accomplishments, financial accomplishments, having traveled the world, wearing the right clothes, being good at golf or cooking and other outward life accomplishments. Unevolved ego finds its strength in these things and would psychologically destabilize without them. The evolved ego places value on where a person is on their spiritual/evolutionary path which would include how well they are able to teach the path and are a help to others. Evolved ego has found its strength from the inward life. Evolved ego doesn't need to be right and doesn't need to win. It's unevolved ego was stripped off the outward things and that way of being broke. The rain was withheld and the tree began to wither until its roots grew deep and reached the underground water.

Not having self pride also involves our body language. No matter how well a person may articulate the level of their breaking and transformation, until they arrive, their condescending, self-important body language will be exposing where they really are in terms of their ego's transformation. But it's cleverly hidden. The self-important body language will be mixed with their effort to look humble and so masked by it that you are tricked into thinking the person is highly evolved. This is especially true of the narcissist doing good, and the bad boy/girl doing good, and the silver tongued, con man/woman doing good. God will reveal the body language to others as part of their lessons and to protect them from wolves in sheep's clothing. And those who have the higher functioning eyes will be able to see it clearly all the time once they have the ability and no longer need the painful transforming lessons to see it. And when you have evolved enough ears to hear that listen consciously, their words of humility are full of boasting. Find yourself practicing seeing and hearing it, what is not good, and articulate the lesson concerning what you are becoming and you will automatically become it. There as a show about a man who could see micro expressions. You will be shown these as needed to know someone.

The real thing, the body language of the true love and humility of the evolved ego, is something that happens effortlessly, and beholding it is a 'paranormal' experience which someday, as everyone becomes this kind of human being, be the normal thing to see as we look at someone. You can't imitate being a higher evolved human being who has been broken and is now walking the Earth powerfully 'moving mountains' in hidden ways. Becoming this highly evolved human being is only the result of the advanced, deeper evolutionary process. "As you see, you become." Becoming someone who moves with this language is the result of having more highly evolved eyes that can see more clearly what is happening to you. Until then, the breaking of the ego is happening in stages and the level of someone's evolving ego can be exposed to others by how it animates the human body language.

— Unevolved ego builds in strength over the years until it is very strong and then messes you up because it messes up your life, bringing you to the pits of hell, where you face it.

— Unevolved ego constantly sets itself up for a fall by coming up with endless concepts about how things should be or how things should transpire that don’t transpire and you get angry and cause yourself pain because you didn’t get what you set yourself up for. When ego is evolved, these words stop coming in. Evolved ego is all about incorrect and negative words not coming in anymore and being at peace about whatever is going on and whatever is going to be going on. You don’t have the pain of waiting for anything specific that you think. You are only waiting to evolve and reach higher levels and eventually escape the dark cloud over you and are set free of the dark night.

— Unevolved ego doesn’t want to be told what to do. The evolved ego will know when they need help and how to handle someone who is being controlling. They are able to handle the relationship complexities and are used by God's being to expose others issues so they are humbled and can evolve.

— Unevolved ego can’t see the difference between what it feels like to be self-centered and separate and reacting proudly verses knowing these words are not coming in anymore because your ego has evolved past them. The evolved ego sees the difference in how you handle life and relationships that becomes sane vs. the craziness. It clearly sees the difference between the two conditions. This is another layer of evolution. You address your past so it doesn’t trigger your present and screw it up. And you become aware of how nonsense words come in because of your unevolved ego that keep you from being able to handle relationships. When it’s time and you have the ability to see the difference between the unevolved and evolving ego, you are stepping out of a box and making a huge shift. The words in this article are the sieve that your mind runs everything through as you make this shift to this much improved and powerful condition of being able to handle relationships. It means the end of the ugly words that come into your mind about every person you come across. These are glasses to see the imperfections of the entire world and the planet for what they are and stop thinking badly about things. The truth is made clearer and negative thoughts stop coming into your mind. There is peace.

— Unevolved ego identified with, values itself with, finds its security in, doing things successfully and feels insecure when it makes mistakes. So if something goes wrong it shifts the blame to someone or something else to maintain its image.

— Unevolved ego identifies with its outer beauty, health, wealth and life and may commit suicide if it feels it has lost everything, and lost in hopelessness instead of the presence of mind to start over and get it back. Evolving ego is constantly getting set up for another shift and has a very difficult time in the dark night emotionally surviving all the loses and the inability to do anything about it. The pain is so bad, it wants to be dead but death eludes it. What is going on inside is of greater value than the outer, and so it's stronger. The outer was destroyed leaving the soul acting odd and feeling impotent and desolated amidst its ruins. There's no security allowed in what is outer and everything imaginable will be taken away so you move past ego into a higher state by hanging only on to the knowledge of where it's going. Ego dies and all you have is truth that isn't manifesting itself yet.

— Unevolved ego still feels what it would feel (humiliation) concerning its outward demolished condition until it makes the shift past this self. It looks at itself as it would look at another its outward condition with the condemning thoughts coming in. Everything that it has been taught runs through a new grid, the new glasses that see the nonsense opinions and condemning thoughts that have screwed their life up especially in the dark night. Once they are gone, it can look at itself and everyone else accurately… in terms of the truth about who we are going to be when we are all fully evolved and no longer process negative words coming into our minds. There will be peace.

— Unevolved ego has words coming in that make you think people are thinking things about you that they aren’t. It’s “seeing things” that are messing up its view of reality. Then more words come in that support what they supposedly are thinking. The mistakes humiliate you, then something in you evolves from these words until you no longer need them and they stop.

What is the mental noise and how to identify it:
1. Thoughts that repeat themselves like a tape that keeps playing the same tune.
2. Reliving negative past situations or visualizing fears over and over again.
3. Dwelling on the past or fearing the future. This prevents us from enjoying the present. The past is gone, and the future is the product of our present thinking and actions. The only time that exists is now, the present moment.
4. Compulsive inner monologue that disturbs our peace and makes the mind busy.
5. Never being here. Always thinking on something else, instead of what we are doing now. If we always think on something else we never enjoy the moment.
6. Constant analysis of our and other people's situations, reactions and behavior. Analyzing the past, the future, things we need or want to do, our day, yesterday and the distant past.
7. Almost all involuntary thinking and daydreaming are some sort of mental noise. This is often a constant background noise, which often intrudes into foreground in the middle of everything we do.
~ Remez Sasson

— Unevolved ego argues and fights and stands its ground no matter if it shoots itself in the foot. Evolving ego wants to change and will say it was wrong and it will be genuine.

— Unevolved ego gets jealous and looks for things to tear someone down.

- Unevolved ego can become a narcissist, not able to be in a real relationship and unable to see that what they think is a relationship is a game they are playing. It's all they know to manipulate. If they get themselves in a mess, they get better at playing the game of being more loving and caring but winning people is only using new and improved methods and is still a con. They have no idea what it means to just be in a relationship. There is always an agenda to feed their emotionally damaged self. In intimate relationships evolving ego is having their eyes opened and getting healed and seeing the secrets of falling in love which had been hidden from them, becoming real instead of in a game using a person for their emotional support and amusement like toys.

— Unevolved ego can fool you. These are such complex times. Men are highly developed in their inaccurate belief systems that they manifest in a peculiar, insane life and they are also amazing, brilliant and clever. The ego can say all the right words and sound like it’s taking responsibility. But it’s not. It’s a cover to make itself look humble. A wolf in sheep's clothing who is dangerous to others. Inside this ego is still fighting and blame shifting and while it taking responsibility for having done something wrong that the ghost of Christmas past has revealed to it, whatever the other person did is worse than what it did. They have a conn game going and it's self deceiving and manipulating those around them to fall into a trap. They are being self righteous behind a mask of humility that the ghost has only given them a glimpse of. Religious people get especially good at this because they have religious language they can use that makes you fall for them. Their ego has tricked them into thinking that they have become quite advanced in the spiritual condition because of the glimpses they have gotten. The highly intelligent minds of conns will do amazing things with the small glimpses they have received because they can speak so well of them. They may write books and make speeches and start business on these small glimpses. But then their ego has much more at stake when something comes along to threaten it. They are now a somebody in the world and ego is all puffed up and must guard the person's reputation. Being good looking, intelligent and very articulate feeds the ego more than anything making it a formidable stronghold to take down in a dark night.

— Unevolved ego can’t see clearly yet. Even if it gets years of clearer and clearer glimpses of what is a higher functioning person, it's only been preparation. A full view of ego is not revealed to you until everything is in place for you to put the final pair of glasses and look at yourself, comparing what’s going on in your mind to what you are becoming in every detail. It’s awareness that is the door to actually becoming what you see. The more you see, are made aware of clearly, the more powerful a higher functioning human being you become. The more truth you have about what evolution of your ego means, the more you become in you can handle of God’s capacity and ability. Unevolved ego will get angry and mess life up. Evolving ego acts on clearer truth, on occasion expressing righteous anger to move circumstances the direction they need to go.

All the words that are going to stop coming in are being revealed. The depths of this is different for everyone. The more you see, the more you see as God sees. At the end of the lessons the words don’t need to come into your mind anymore. As you go through the pain and see the negative and incorrect words that are coming into your mind making you look at things and behave incorrectly, the words start to stop coming in until they have revealed everything about themselves and how they are messing up the entire world and then the stop. Then the only words that come in are the righteousness of God. He will move you to act as He would to help everyone have their unevolved egos and how it’s screwing everything up revealed to them. He will move you to set up the boundaries they can’t cross so they see what they are stopped from what they are doing wrong, not in anger, in righteous authority, according to the plan to evolve them. You will become strong in what you do and say to help everyone. The evolving ego is very aware that it is not separate and never was but now it only receives words causing the person to move as God.

— Unevolved ego’s neurotic and aberrative behavior will make you aware of how evolved ego will be in relationships. You go through reverie therapy to get rid of the past messing up your present. Evolving ego is becoming positive, patient, calm, warm, friendly, good, honorable, respectful and kind — a refined humanity. The words that come into them put not only the best interpretation on things, but the accurate interpretation. The words coming in are the truth and exactly what is needed for the moment. No competition, just help, healing and support.

— Unevolved ego is self-indulgent and will over eat, over drink, over purchase stuff because of its unhealthy emotional needs due to the words building up in the wall screaming for their satisfaction. Having children means self-sacrifice and putting someone else's needs first on a regular basis. Not having very much money keeps you from building up needs in the wall. Without forms of checks and balances taking away things instead of always receiving more stuff, people become high maintenance to themselves and those around them.

— Unevolved ego thinks it's entitled to have its selfish behavior respected and its needs met. It's actually desperate because it has created a huge appetite and will go through withdrawal if what it's now accustomed to getting or free to be able to do stops. If you observe yourself you may see yourself vacillate between feeling entitled and then catching yourself being this way and making a correction in your attitude or behavior.

In a dark night all your stuff that makes you feel good about yourself needs to be taken away or it needs to stop making you feel good. Your ego is starved in a dark night so that your concepts of what you need in the wall transform into the concepts you need to walk as God that do not block this way of being.

Ego is on a wasteful and greedy path. The story of Mary and Martha in the Bible teaches us about what we are really entitled to once you pay the price of going through being stripped of everything, going through the spiritual school of truth and the principle of the evolutionary process of the cross. Jesus said that Mary was doing the one thing necessary. Her complete focus was on Jesus and His teachings and the result of it could never be taken away from her. If you follow Jesus through a cross, you receive revelation, ego dies and you make the connection to God and life will be lived as man was meant to live it. Nothing will ever be taken away again. You will never go to hell again.

— Unevolved ego controls to the point of a high degree of insanity. Unevolved ego may need to control because of having been abused where they had no control. Unevolved ego may want to control to puff itself up. You see this in politics.

— Unevolved ego is impatient and breaks the rules. We are not the wholesome, ethical and moral people we once were. I've wondered why so many people today walk across the street when the light is red and the hand underneath it is red and it couldn't be more clear that they are breaking the law. Or they enter the crosswalk when the walking sign is down to 3 leaving about 2 seconds, if that, to make it across the street before the light turns green for the cars that are waiting there. And while some do, many don't walk quickly. They stroll with no guilt and complete disrespect and insensitivity for the drivers sitting in those cars. Life is out of their control but they have figured out a way to control the traffic and causing feelings of anger and disgust. What is going through their minds that's in the wall? Do they deceive themselves and think being self-centered and upsetting people makes them look powerful in some good way? The strolling is condescending and looks like entitlement. 'I'm allowed to take your time from you because I'm more important' or 'I'm getting even with the world because society owes it to me because they have more stuff than I do.' You can tell from their expressions that many think it looks cool to be a lawbreaking. And they even look more cool if they are on their cell phones while they are walking across the street. Others think it's beneath them to wait for the light. They are high rollers. No doubt there's a whole array of childish and foolish thoughts in their walls that are making them feel better about themselves. And those thoughts are messing up their lives and the world a this one thing they are doing wrong in their life says a lot about the rest of it, like the saying, 'a picture speaks a thousand words.' They are revealing a great deal about themselves to the world and are blind to what they are saying about themselves and what is in their wall that needs to come down when God is ready to evolve them.

— Unevolved ego isn't listening to what a person is going to say next. They are thinking about what they are going to say next and they interrupt when people are talking and miss out on learning and being present for others. An evolving ego listens.

— Unevolved ego can try to be very careful and still misjudge and miscalculate. Driving in a city with blind spots, a lot of cars, bikes, pedestrians, some of whom disregard the traffics laws, are not present, are on their cell phones requires our higher human ability that occurs when we are married to God. The spiritually married person is omnisciently multitasking as they navigate this ever increasingly complex world. They are courteous, and follow the said and unsaid rules of the road instead of rushing with blinders on like they the road is theirs, and do not make mistakes and cause stress or accidents.

— Unevolved ego is not emotionally and mentally healthy and needs to make the spiritual journey to unearth and face its shadows. Some mental illnesses are in the DNA but most mental disorders are a result of the behavior of the people in a person's life that has built up negative words in their minds, creating bad programs that they are unconsciously animated by. The programming took hold somewhere in the past and has kept the person stuck acting out those programs in the present. Anything similar triggers words from the past that stored negative emotions attached to them will manifest themselves in the present until they are located and looked at and defused, then refiled in the mind as memories that can no longer cause problems.

Relationships are the most important thing to life and there are key truths about what causes problems in relationships that need to be known. If a person is violated or emotionally neglected or abused and their personal boundaries have been crossed so that pieces of who they are have been taken away, they become pathological narcissists or codependents or a version of each depending on their basic personality type. Seeing these behavior patterns everywhere around you that have been passed down from one generation of human beings to the next is critical to evolving mankind into a healthy place. These patterns are in entire cultures and have been for centuries. And, along with inaccurate belief systems, they greatly effect politics and business. Evolved ego has see the past and it has grow up and is living only according to the words in the present while looking forward to an amazing future.

— Unevolved ego also needs to see another key truth in order for humanity to be set free from the hell we are living in. Unevolved ego thinks it's a separate person walking according to its separate agenda and visions for its future. The reality is that we are puppets and dark nights strip us of everything so that we see that we are helpless and not in control of anything. The evolving ego learns what is really going on and steps outside the illusion that has one believing that they are doing something on their own. As it sees that it is not separate it learns to walk, not according to its mind and what it sees, but blindly trusting in the evolutionary process, a process that involves passing through good and bad integrated together that becomes so deep it appears to violate ego's sanity and core values. It is necessary for a human being to go through the dramatic dark night evolutionary process that will strip them of everything leaving their soul marginalized and traumatized, organically changing them to have the ability to see the truth. Good integrated with bad creates a vortex that causes your vibration to rise and you have to get to the place where you find yourself shutting your eyes and walking into something that seems wrong. To be challenged this way is how you break through. You have to trust in two things; how brilliant God is at navigating through impossible situations, and the level you have attained in your evolution to walk through your life as God would and making it something extraordinary.

To the extent that ego thinks it is steering through life under its own power, it is in the way of the adult god-like, very powerful navigation system that will operate to get one to heaven. Unevolved ego thinks it is making choices and walking according to its ideas of the right and wrong of a situation not knowing it is heading towards a dark night where it is woken up to how it really is. If you have this unevolved belief system concerning how it all works, ego is struggling in fear to hang on in a precarious place where if what it believes is challenged, it is a mess. 'Walking by faith' is knowing what you are becoming. It lets go of thinking it has ever been in control and sees how a human being can get past a life of problems. The problems will fade as the lessons are learned, the growing pain is felt, and the mind is then changed and can see clearer. The path has to go the wrong way first all the way until the end, and we never know when it is the end and everything we think is now accurate. We become highly trained by our minds learning from thousands of mistakes and wrong roads but as long as it is still not totally seeing the view at the top clearly, the path will lead the mind to another mirage, another hopeful door out of the process, that leave us with only a mouthful of sand.

Over and over the path reaches a point where it makes you set aside the healthy but not totally clear thinking and move forward into a negative environment, because going the opposite way of where you want to go is how it works to make the evolutionary leap to walking through life like God would, not just with everything going positively but magically. You will continue to be broken in your dark night even when entering this very high level where you now have a mind's eye like His and are leaving the negative classrooms and surgery rooms. However, you must not try to walk this way unless you are at this level of your evolution. This level is when you realize you are not walking on your own. You walk according to a knowing and trusting what you've become, as doubt and fears continue to show your differences and make your mind more clear. Your wrong concepts and wrong thinking concerning life are out of the way so that you can be moved to do what you can't imagine. "It's no longer I" as St. John put it. It's paranormal, or more accurately, the experience of having the normal spiritual faculties of a human being functioning — and not just the intellectual understanding we've used all out lives prior to our mind's eye being opened. An evolved ego understands the difference between doing something and finding itself doing something that is not its own separate doing, feeling like one was outside the box looking at himself doing it. These pictures help the immature mind get to the place where it sees that the paranormal is a normal part of what a highly evolved human being is.

The evolving ego at this level has no separate idea about the future, no separate ideas about future outcomes. You have no separate opinions, no separate plans. Your faith is in your evolved condition that is walking as God would walk and you are completing your training in how to be moved with a separate ego staying out of the way until you get used to being what you are becoming. After all the struggle and deliberating, the mind is set aside and you feel free of it and free of your responsibility as you enter the flow. There are many stones in life to navigate around. As evolved ego makes its moves, somehow you are still you but you have the awareness that you're not alone in the doing. This ability is the result of the more evolved mystical experience of the "upper school" or "the second mystic life" of paranormal deaths through utter exhaustion of the mental faculties, helplessness, impotence, deprivation, humility and aridity, leading to "union with God" or "union with the Absolute" or "Infinite Will" — a far more intense version of a dark night of the soul with far fewer positive paranormal ecstasies and many more negative ones that are needed for this time in mankind's evolution.

“the soul which is reduced to the Nothing, ought to dwell therein; without wishing, since she is now but dust, to issue from this state, nor, as before, desiring to live again. She must remain as something which no longer exists: and this, in order that the Torrent may drown itself and lose itself in the Sea, never to find itself in its selfhood again: that it may become one and the same thing with the Sea.” ~ Madame Guyon

Evolving ego will let go of everything it thinks and walk through a wall. When it comes out the other end it is more evolved and the data it let go of that is correct will be returned and you will know that it is accurate. As you access data and observe life, you will be able to trust what you think and feel once you pay the price for this higher ability by completing the walking through the coals lessons.

Earth is a place of neurotic, aberrated, self-destructive behavior that can only be fixed by the self- knowledge that comes through evolution opening everyone's mind's eyes up and sending them down the path of learning and transforming into all they can be. The mind's eye sees the way clearest when the hell that is going on it at its worst. Ego only gives up and listens and wants to change when it has been knocked down, is desperate to feel okay and hungry for the answers. Passing through the negative state of a mystical night where everything that is going against you inwardly and outwardly includes becoming the opposite of what you want to be and the life you want in order to see clearly what it means to be a human being in a ultimate life so that you can become it. As you see the human evolutionary process more clearly, you become what you have been shown, leaving hell and entering heaven.

In a dark night we begin evolving or growing up from being a baby ego-behaving self to the adult perfectly-behaving self. 'I' with my own separate version of the truth, 'I' with my own ideas about what I want and need — this is living in the illusion that you are making your own decisions and you have to work or win the lottery to get what you think you want and that you think will make you happy. This is not how it works, this is what is meant by living an illusion. When a human mind goes through the dark night process and the illusion is replace by the truth about life that matches what is in the mind of God, what that person needs and wants are what God would want if He was living their lives. And the broken life that had the rug pulled out from under it has been replaced by a life that works right. This is an entirely different way of living. It's a human with a new operating system.

The ego that was evolving was locked in a cage and was shown what it would be replaced by, but that new way of being stayed hidden in a cocoon until it's done. The evolving ego is becoming another self, a higher self that isn't about its own self anymore. The selves that are transformed into the higher form of a human self, that acts like God would, has entered what has in the past been called the mystical "spiritual marriage" to God and they are let out of their cocoon and their wings open and their higher human ability is functioning.

"When he shifts the centre of his interest from the ego to the Stillness his life begins to manage itself. Happenings pertaining to it come about without his doing anything at all."
~ Paul Brunton

The Biblical story of Jacob ("manipulator") wrestling the Angel of the Lord all night, then having his name changed from Jacob to Israel was a picture of the dark night where we change from a baby ego who thinks they are running their lives to someone who is still on the outside and watches their life being lived for them so everything goes well.

At this level you know you are a part of the being of God and are being moved powerfully to do what needs to be done on a bigger scale. The experience of having a separate agenda is gone. They are out of the way. Your wants and needs are coming from a desire that is more than the self or 'I,' but still including 'I' which is not lost. Nothing has changed about your own personal need for happiness and what your environment needs to be like in order for you to experience being happy. Your self's unevolved concepts and the resulting behavior are now gone and what you want is the same as what God needs.

You will feel as if He is walking for you in your shoes and knowing that everything you do is right, able to do the seemingly impossible as you navigate this increasingly complex world. A world that draws close to all needing to have this higher 'magical' human ability. Everyone will need to enter this level of training in order to survive where the world is going. Knowing you have entered this level is your security, your freedom, your peace, your confidence and power even while you still must go through the rest of your dark night process. Faith is "the certainty of things unseen." An evolving ego has become certain about what is happening to it and what it means for its future and its ultimate significance to the future of mankind.

We have always been part of the being of God being animated like puppets. But we are born unaware of it and unable to be in the relationship we are all destined to be in with God. Evolution is each individual person, each self, becoming all he can be having found all truth, the one truth, having connected to the mind of God, then there are no more negative words coming into you and you are walking the earth as God would. This knowing is how all men will one day live in peace on an Earth that will become all that it can be.

Photo of Holy Island sunrise by Chris Combe, Creative Commons

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